The Vacuum Kiss
The Vacuum Kiss
If you need answers, try spending time on a toilet seat. It’s one of the most powerful creations man has ever invented. It drives out brilliant ideas from inside you. It shows you what is wrong and tells you where to start. It is an anti-depressent, too, like Prozac that’ll make you feel good.
And after you’re all fired up with ideas and you think you have enough energy to face what’s behind your bathroom door, what’s outside, cool yourself down by scrubbing the bathroon.
And when you’re all sweaty, take off your clothes, take a bath for as long as you want, make yourself smell really good. Then, as you step outside, facing the world, facing life, you will feel, right through your very core, that you have become wiser, that you are happier, that you are cleaner.
Seriously, no one that has come out of a toilet has ever said they don’t feel good.
I linger. I stare. I reel.
There is a universal truth about age - it bothers one to a certain degree.
As I lay myself down for a much needed meditation, I start feeling my body. Not touching it, but having a “feel about it.” Does it hurt when I move all of a sudden? Are my joints swollen? Can I get up easily as much as I can 10 years ago when I was 18? Somehow I feel like my body is old, too. Like my organs are taking a huge toll each time I do something.
Physically - My skin is wrinkly, my breasts saggy, my thighs bulgy. My nose still flat.
Okay. I was blowing things out of proportion. Truth is, my body works fine. My health is still at its optimum as far as bodily functions. I am not sure, though if I should account my being overweight to getting old, but it sure is depressing. But if I account it to just loving food too much, I would still circle back and ask, “don’t all old people love to eat?” Everything seem to be rooting out of the premise of age. Which leads me to a more appropriate, more important aspect of increasing age - wisdom.
I am still not very wise, but I am not going to delve on that for now. Knowing I am 28 is depressing enough. That should suffice at the moment.